If you understand, things are just as they are... If you do not understand, things are just as they are....
                                                                      - Zen Saying


There is a Moroccan fable that says that within each of us exists a story. A well written tale, full of adventure and excitement. Periodically we get glimpses of this story and where it might head by the random synchronicities we experience in life. These glimpses exist as some of the people we might meet or opportunities that unexpectedly arise. Things we never expect seem to come from nowhere. Life gives us dramatic twists and turns or sometimes we are just supposed to be calm with little excitement, either way this is where we are in the tale. We are exactly where we need to be.

Our stories are unique to each of us. Often our stories are much different from the stories we make up in our mind of how we’d like it to be. Be certain though, that everything that is taking place in your life right now is part of the how it is supposed to unfold. Our real tale, always grounded in the present moment, unfolds right in front of us.

Right now I am between jobs. My financial situation is uncertain and it is a challenge to stay on an even keel when you’re not sure how everything is going to work out week to week. I think of this anecdote above when I can feel myself trying to exert to much control over my life and I start to worry excessively. I remind myself that life is in fact a journey and I don’t always need to think so hard about what the next chapter looks like.

It feels good to hand over control sometimes and know I don’t always need to stress about being the writer. Sometimes it is fun to just sit back with curiosity to see how the story develops on its own. I know no matter what it’s going be a great ride with a happy ending. A life full of adventure and excitement.

Learn to hand over the writing duties of life periodically. There is a greater purpose and direction to our lives that is beyond our control and we are not quite able to see yet. Let the pages of your story turn themselves.

 

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
                                                                   - Buddha



I stood to catch my breath for a quick second. I was mid way up the crevassed slope of Emmons Glacier en route to the crater rim of Mount Rainier. This was my first summit attempt and I was feeling it. The sight of the summit was almost enough to make me want to stop right there. It looked so far away, almost unobtainable, like some distant mirage that continually alludes you. I shook that thought from my mind, looked down and started putting one foot in front of the other.

This is where I understood the concept of thinking small. Sometimes just looking up at our goals is enough to make us want to quit. Lofty goals can seem so difficult to achieve, the path so arduous and uncertain that we try something easier or quit altogether.

Thinking big is important when defining goals, but the mindset of “thinking big” should be left at the table after that. Once you have set your goals high and created a methodology to achieve them, don’t look up at the summit. Simply focus on the present moment and what you can do right now. Right now is all you can control and it’s the small steps that will get you where you want to go.

Think small.

Wanting to quit right there as I stood on the glacier, I focused on just one step. Then came another step. Then another. I made my world consist of simply the step I was taking. I didn’t judge my progress to the top nor was I even really concerned with where the top was. My world was small. It consisted of putting my foot ahead of where it was before.

Thinking small does a few things. It focuses your mental energy on the now. What you can control. Much of our mental energy is spent on critical judgements, like how far away we are from the top, or how are peers are doing.

All that matters in the present moment. When your attention is laser focused on the current situation, we save valuable mental and physical energy for the long journey, and thus put our time and energy into what is actually getting us to where we want to go.

The second benefit of thinking small, is that we are awarded with consistent small victories. We become empowered as we take positive steps forward. Even a small step forward is positive when compared with burning out halfway towards our summit. The small joy of keeping your mind simple and in the present moment is essentially a meditation. The work of doing then begins to flow as we focus just on our present movements. The going actually becomes easier and enjoyable. Eventually, without even knowing it, we get to our summit.

Big goals are good. Once you have defined them, just put them on the shelf and don’t look up. Think small and enjoy the meditative calm of the process. The Journey itself is all there really is. After all, do we ever really arrive? When you enjoy the process you enjoy life itself.



*Extra-  Every bit counts. Use the Archimedean method:

"Archimedes taught us that a small quantity added to itself often enough becomes a large quantity (or, in proverbial terms, every little bit helps). When it comes to accomplishing the bulk of the world’s work, and, in particular, when it comes to writing a book, I believe that the converse of Archimedes’ teaching is also true: the only way to write a large book is to keep writing a small bit of it, steadily every day, with no exception, with no holiday."
- Paul R. Halmos, I Want to Be a Mathematician

                                    “If you don’t bring it with you, you won’t find it here.”
                                                                - Anonymous



I was excited for the trip. For the first time in my life I was going abroad by myself. I don’t know what compelled me to go, I guess I figured I would find something I was looking for, a greater contentment someplace else. I couldn’t wait to experience new people and places, a welcome break from the monotony of home and the United States.

The trip ended up being a great trip, but not because of what I thought would make it great. The new experiences and people I met were a breath of fresh air, but the real gift of the trip was quite unexpected. Deep within, with resounding clarity, I felt the truth of the statement “If you don’t bring it with you, you won’t find it here.”

This realization came about due to the close juxtaposition of two different worlds so close in time. Two different worlds that failed to provide what I hoped I would find.

A week before my trip, I couldn’t wait to leave the US and get abroad. After a week in a foreign country, alone and struggling with the language, I missed home more than ever. Within the span of less than 10 days I was exposed to two completely different worlds and found myself completely lost and less content than ever.

As time went on and I settled into my month long excursion in Argentina, a peaceful calm came over me. I felt better than I had in many years. I felt like everything was going to be OK. I could stop searching.

I began to sense that the real answer to contentment in life does not depend on a specific location or person or thing but rather it is wrought within. I began to be happy in spite of where I was or what I was doing.

True contentment is like your partner, you travel with it throughout life, it’s not lost. It never has been.

Stumbling upon the anecdote to the fundamental conundrum that is human restlessness is an incredibly exciting personal discovery. I have conceptually understood the idea that well being in life is found internally, but I have never felt it before. I felt it’s truth for the first time in my life. Feeling it makes all the difference.

Happiness comes from within. It’s one’s attitude towards where they are and what they are doing that makes ALL the difference.

This was just a taste of truth. How much it sticks is up to me. No doubt, it will be difficult to maintain. It takes a daily meditation to remind yourself you have everything you need and you are right where you need to be.

Now, like an explorer carrying his backpack off to see the world, I know I have the key to my happiness right with me, in fact, its been there all along, there is no need to look anywhere else.

                    “Somewhere along the line we seem to have confused comfort with happiness.”
                                                                – Dean Karnazes


It is easy to be discouraged by the difficulties we face along the path of life.
We set our minds to something and hope for the best. Difficulties invariably arise and more often than not we fail to see things through.
When the going gets tough, it is easy to rationalize that we didn’t want it that bad in the first place. The 15 lbs we were trying to lose or the dream house we were saving up for, was just not that important. We quit and move on to other things

When we face these hardships, this is when we need to keep going. The irony of struggle, however, is that is exactly what makes up happy and proud of ourselves. Ultimately, the things we strive for are nice, but it’s the struggle that makes us better, stronger, wiser and happy. It is within the struggle that we are pushed to our limits. Our creative potential and mental faculties are forced to expand. Confidence is cultivated and discipline forged.

The idea of struggle has intrigued me. Often in my life I have pursued things that were easy, forgoing the struggle and the resulting benefits. Last week I decided to try an experiment.

Each day I made a list of difficult tasks that were important to me to complete. These were tasks like, waking up early, writing and eating right. I was curious to see how embracing difficulty would contribute to my overall well-being.

This is the first time I have written down my attitude towards tasks. I would recommend this to everyone. It really gives you an awareness of your mental habits and how they contribute to your personal happiness.

Here is how it went.

Before attempting my tasks for the day, I would write down in an Excel spreadsheet my attitude towards them. The common notations that came up were  things like, “I’ll do this later.” “It’s not that important.” “I want to sleep in,” and “Is this really what I want?”

I got my attitude straight and powered through the list each day. Much of the time it was hard going, but I finished the list each day.

The resulting notations regarding my energy level and mindset after completion were encouraging.

The feelings I noted afterward were things like, “Glad I did it.” “Feeling great, tons of energy,” and “Self empowered.”

It is amazing how doing what’s difficult makes you feel great. The interesting part is, its not in the attainment that makes you feel good, but the feeling of self empowerment you feel after rising to the challenge of the struggle. The attainment is nice, but it’s the resulting growth from the struggle that really counts.


                 “Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment. Full effort is full victory.”
                                                                        -Ghandi



An interesting fact I came upon while doing this experiment is how false a prophet pleasure is.
I also took notes of my desire for comfort before and after the fact. Something simple like eating fast food the other day.  I took note of my longing for it and then took note after consumption. Again, predictable, but powerful. “don’t feel that great.” “tired,” “lack of discipline.” As powerful as my impulse for comfort was, the results were clear. Indulging in comfort did not provide the overall satisfaction it promises.

A general theme has emerged after this week of my mind state awareness project. The harder and more difficult something are, the better you will feel afterward. The more comforting and easy something is, the less likely you are to feel fulfilled afterwards. 

A side note to this experiment is that pleasure and comfort are a major part of life. Splurging, sleeping in, and eating whatever you want balances out life. Without needed rest and periodic indulgence we are bound to burn ourselves out.

The results were clear. If it is hard, it is probably worth doing. Stick to it and don’t stop, I promise you will feel better afterward.

This is part 5 of a 5 part series on How to Create a Mission Plan to Achieve Your Goals


        "The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be                                        happy I mean that if you are happy you will be good."
                                                                    -Bertrand Russell


                                                                    ASSESSMENT

The final installment of this series leads us to the assessment stage. Our first attempt to achieve our goals is bound to bring up difficulties and unexpected events that were not identified during the planning process. The assessment stage is thus critical for monitoring our progress and to inspire creative solutions to unexpected problems.

Assessment is also a critical tool for maintenance of long term goals when focus can become an issue. Continually asses your progress and state of focus is key component to success.

Assessment is continuous; it precedes and guides our day to day activities as they concern our goals. It should be used as a tool during all phases of goal setting. Planning, Preparing, and Execution.

The assessment process consists of three sequential activities:


#1 Monitoring
    Monitoring is the continuous observation of the current conditions of your goal progress. You can       make adjustments to your strategy based on your current conditions as they relate to your                     expectations. Progress cannot be judged, nor executed or adjustment decisions made, without an         accurate understanding of the current situation.

#2 Evaluating
    This is where you interpret the data you collected during the monitoring stage. Are you behind             schedule on your goal? Did you lose a training partner? All these circumstances are evaluated                 and adjustments are implemented. This is where you find what is working and what is not                 working and gain insights on how to better accomplish your goals.

#3 Recommending
    Monitoring and evaluation are important parts of the process, but assessment is incomplete without     recommending or directing action. This is where, based on your evaluations, you brainstorm             possible improvements to your strategy. Your recommendations may involve continuing on as             planned or making adjustments that were unanticipated. It might help to run any recommendations     by members of your team  (if you have one) to get a better understanding. After all the                         recommendations have been suggested and thought over, decide which is best to help you                 accomplish your goals and institute accordingly.


Now we have covered the whole process of goal setting from identification to execution. Use these suggestions to guide you along the way. Life is a delicate dance of planning and executing while enjoying the ride along the way. Above all, be happy and enjoy it!

This is part 4 of a 5 part series on How to Create a Mission Plan to Achieve Your Goals.


                              "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. "
                                                               -Robert F. Kennedy



                                                                      EXECUTE

*In case you are a new reader and have not read the previous posts, it may be helpful to start with part 1 of the series (HERE) and work your way up. Familiarizing yourself with the concepts and strategy from the beginning you will enable you to gain a better understanding of the significance of the whole system.

One thing we have learned up to this point is that success building can be a scientific process. In the previous sections we learned to identify our goals and then build a system around these goals. We learned the importance of planning and then preparation. In the end, life is as much art as it is science. We can do all the planning and research in the world, but eventually we have to start doing. This is execution.

Execution is putting your plan into action by applying willpower to accomplish your goals. Willpower is the fuel that drives the engine of our system. We have built a machine specifically designed to achieve our goals, the next step is to apply a sufficient amount of willpower to eventually reach our end state.


The fundamentals of Execution are:


#1 Seize and retain the initiative
    This consists of 3 parts. (A)Take action. Without action nothing is achievable. Believe in yourself     and take the leap. (B) Create and exploit opportunities. Always be on the look out for                          opportunities that present better ways to achieve your goals. These opportunities may be minor         synchronicitiesvthat present themselves to help you along your way. Seize them. (C) Assess and         take risk. Uncertainty and risk are inherent in all of life's endeavors. Recognizing and acting on         opportunities presents risk, but careful analysis and acceptance of a certain degree of risk is a key     element to successful execution.

#2 Build and maintain momentum
    After you have taken action towards your goal, do not stop. Momentum is the pendulum that keeps     the machine rolling. Over time continual effort creates a habit of success and it becomes a natural     tendency to maintain it. Build and maintain momentum by taking the initiative and executing your     strategy. A by-product of momentum is that opportunities begin to arise as momentum builds.

#3 Exploit Success
    Exploitation of success means assessing what it takes to sustain your success and converting it into     decisive results. Sustainment can take the form of continuing education and practice to sharpen the     saw. It can also take place during an assessment phase in order to refine the system you built.              Sustained successes leads to decisive victory.

Taking the leap

Ultimately only the achievement of our stated goals count. Execution is the part where we take the leap. We have done all the research, preparation and planning that we can. This is the critical moment where despite any lingering fear, we believe in ourselves and our system and go for it.


                               "Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?"
                                                                 -Frank Scully




Check back soon for part 5 of this 5 parts series.

This is part 3 of a 5 part series on how to Create a Mission Plan to Achieve Your Goals.



    'Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one
                                                                is a lot of hard work.'
                                                                    -Stephen King



                                                                      PREPARE


Let’s recap what we have learned so far on how to Create a Mission Plan to Achieve Your Goals. The first part of the mission plan was the Identification stage where we defined in detail our goals. The next stage in the process was the Planning stage where we highlighted the importance of both conceptual and then detailed strategies to help us achieve our goals.

Step 3 of the process bring us to the PREPARE stage.

The preparation stage is characterized by the activities that take place in order to increase the likelihood of achieving our goals. Preparation includes, but is not limited to, plan refinement, rehearsals, coordination, research, feedback, and skill refinement.

Preparation puts the plan in motion. It transitions you from the idea stage and moves you into the doing stage. The activities described above serve to increase your ability to achieve your goal.


The primary functions of preparation are:

#1 Improving situational understanding.
    During the initial planning stage, it is not uncommon for ones initial understanding of the goal             landscape to be neither complete or accurate. As the preparation process takes place, through             improved situational understanding and review, you are able to make adjustments to your plan.


#2 Developing a common understanding of the plan.
    This relates to a goal involving multiple parties. Preparation activities that take place at this stage     are a confirmation of the goal between everyone involved, rehearsals and timetable discussions.          Everyone must be on the same page or valuable time and resources are wasted on non critical             activities.


#3 Practicing and becoming proficient on critical tasks.
    Refers to the critical skills required for success that were highlighted during the planning stage.         Rehearse and practice the skills most critical to your success. When time allows, train on                     unfamiliar tasks prior to the execution stage. This helps with preparedness in contingency                    situations.


#4 Integrating, organizing and configuring the Force.
    As you make small adjustments during the preparation process, you may add external components     to your strategy, like a new employee or training partner. This portion of the stage allows time for     integrating these people into your plan, assessing their strengths and weakness and implementing     supplemental training or feedback where necessary.


#5 Ensuring Forces and Resources are positioned and ready.
    Effective preparation ensures all the right pieces are in the right place at the right time, well                 prepared and well supplied. If you are starting a new business are you well funded and well                 organized? Are your employees up to speed on mission critical details and objectives? Have                 critical skills been rehearsed and mastered?
    Perform one last overview of your goal and what it is going to take. Do you have all the pieces in       place?


Similar to an iceberg, the planning and preparation process is the bulky 90% underwater than no one sees. It’s not sexy and it’s not fun, however, it’s absolutely critical to success.

When people see the results of worldly success on TV, they are only witnessing the top 10%. What they don’t see is all the planning and hard work that went into it. It is easy to get caught up in the idea of instant success, but the real secret to any enterprise is building the 90% below the water, the stuff no one sees.

The planning and preparation stage is arduous, but remember you are building a system. Stick with it, do not give up.



*Side Note.
Much of the frame work for this series is taken directly from the field operations manual for the US Army on how to plan a mission. If you are interested in buying the actual manual click HERE. It is a tremendous tool that can be used for planning your life's missions.

Check back soon for part 4 of this 5 part series.

 This is part 2 of a 5 part series on Create a Mission Plan to Achieve Your Goals.



     "You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little            plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now."
                                                                 -Harry S. Truman


                                                                    PLAN

Now that you have identified a clear goal you are one step in the right direction. You made it through the Socratic Method and refined your goals. You have pinpointed exactly what you want. Now what?

The next step in line is to plan for it. It is said that one hour of dedicated planning is worth four hours of doing. Planning in its simplest terms, is thinking before doing.

Planning is a learning activity that is both the art and science of understanding where you are and where you need to go, and then being able to integrate dynamic approach to achieve your goals. Planning is both conceptual and detailed.



CONCEPTUAL PLANNING TIPS

Conceptual planning is the 10,000 foot view of your goal state. It is the art of the planning process. The ability to see where you currently are in relation to your goal and determine what skills and materials you require in order to achieve your end-state.

#1 Frame the problem.
     What am I up against? Consider both internal motivational factors that have caused you to fail in      the past and external factors like materials and skills. What will it take to overcome internal              factors and acquire the skills necessary?

#2 Defining your desired end-state.
    You can use your vetted goal from part 1 of the series here. A detailed end-state is critical for the      development of the planning process.

#3 Plan around the goal.
    Develop an operational approach to achieve your stated goal. This is a broad-stroke assessment of     how you are going to make your goals happen, when and where. You may consider various             approaches during this process.

I always find it helpful to talk about your goal with an unbiased friend or family member. This really helps challenge your thinking and shows you areas where you might be weak or ill prepared.

Now that we have laid out a general view of our goal state, it is time create a more detailed plan.


DETAILED PLANNING TIPS

Detailed planning is the science of the planning process. It involves the detailed and strategic implementation of the planning process.

#1 Scheduling
    When will we practice our skills, train, and research? Make sure to carve out specific time for             each. When will assessment of our progress take place each week? Make sure to schedule                 leisure time which is vitally important to re charge and re-focus.

#2 Coordination and technical issues.
    Usually we require more than just ourselves to achieve a goal. This is the point where we                 coordinate with any teachers, trainers, coaches, and or mentors whose help we require. We             make sure our “staff” is on board and available. Technical issues refers to the predictive ability         to find potential weaknesses in our overall plan. We are only as strong as our weakest link.                 Identifying where the system could break down is critical. This could be either internal factors             like motivation or external factors such as equipment or hardware. Assess and strengthen.

#3 Sustaining momentum
    The self management of maintaining sufficient motivation in the face of difficulties. Scheduling         leisure time to avoid burn out. Seeking analysis from expert sources to assess the quality of our         product, training ect. The flexibility to make changes in strategy along the way


Achieving your desired end-state is simply the product of a well built system.
Once you have identified your goal, don’t fret about it achieving it. Focus on building a system of success. It is the system that will get you where you want to go.

Build the system, plug yourself in, and enjoy the ride. Eventually you will come out on the other end with something you may have never dreamed of.

Part 3 of the series coming soon.

This is part 1 of a 5 part series on Create a Mission Plan to Achieve Your Goals


                                     “The beginning of wisdom is the definition of terms”
                                                                   ~Socrates


                                                                 IDENTIFY

You can only get somewhere when you know where you are headed. Goals are an important part of life because they help us define in clear terms what we are looking for.

One of the primary reasons we fall short of what we are seeking is not for lack of goals but rather lack of a defined purpose. Often our goals resemble a loose collection of the things we don’t want, rather than a clear definition of the things we do want.

The problem with a heuristic approach towards goal setting is that it involves process of elimination rather than a process of coming to a clarified conviction. The elimination process can take years as we consider and test various alternatives. Considering the amount of time we spend at work, this could be a less than ideal proposition.

The problem lies not with having the wrong goals, it is that our goals are undefined.

The clear and focused definition of what we seek is the first step in getting what we want in life.

The military is one of the best examples of an organization that is able execute highly complex missions by way of goal setting. They do this by clearly defining the objective from the start. They call these objectives, end-states. The end result of a clearly defined objective, achievable through focused and dedicated effort.
In fact, at the beginning of every mission plan, the mission objective is clearly stated, twice!

-Tips on goals.

#1 Stating goals is the first step. Write everything down.

#2 Use questions to prompt gut level responses.
    What have I always dreamed of achieving?
    Where do I want to live in 5 years, 10, years, 20 years. What does my place look like?
    Where is one place I have always wanted to travel?
    What do I really enjoy? Could I turn this into a living?

Goals on paper are not enough though. They have to have strong personal meaning to us, be achievable and self validated. We can vet our ambitions by using the Socratic Method of inquiry.

Now that we have our stated goals down on paper we can run them through the ringer of self inquisition in order to test their conviction.

The Socratic method is a system of philosophical self inquiry that involves extensive self questioning. By repeatedly testing our assumptions under the method of asking ourselves “Why?” we come to find which goals have real meaning to us. This is a process of cutting out the fat to find wholesome meaning in our ambitions.

The tips below are very simple suggestions. For more in depth Socratic techniques, please click HERE.

-Using the Socratic Method.

#1 Take your list of goals from above and run them through the ringer.  Look at each goal and ask yourself why it is important to you. When you find an answer for that, then ask “Why is this important?” This will be difficult and probably mind numbing, but that is the point. It forces you to really think about what is important to you.

#2 Elicit the help of a friend for added clarification. Have a close friend or relative help you with your decision making process by having them ask you probing questions regarding your goals. Questions like, “Why don’t you try that?” and “What exactly do you mean by this?” This is akin to “peeling the onion” and in real-time helps you think critically of your goals and underlying assumptions. These questions should help you come to your own conclusion about what is right for you.

#3 Refine. After the friendly inquisition, re evaluate your goals and refine them into more accurate objectives. The questions from your friend should have kicked your brain into critical thinking overdrive and the end product should be more focused and meaningful.

Now that you have stated your goals and they have passed the test of the Socratic method, it’s time to put a plan in place to achieve them.

Stay tuned for part 2, PLAN

*Note. Below is a guest post Courtesy of Jamie Leigh Fish

They found out I could drive and they thought it was radical. None of them had ever known a woman who could drive and it was novel to them that their friend Nachimuli had been doing it since she was fourteen.

From then on, I drove everywhere. Visualize it; one thin white woman trained to drive on farm trucks and tractors, bombing down what could barely be considered a dirt road, but for all intents and purposes was used as such, in a hand-me-down eighties Nissan from Japan with five tiny traditional African healers in the car. Actually not just traditional healers but leaders in their field, five of the most highly achieved healers from each of their respective villages in Uganda brought together to edify and learn from one another.

We were immediately a gang. We flew down the road singing songs at the top of our lungs, lips sticking to our teeth from smiling in the dry equatorial heat. We stopped only to buy roasted bananas and peanuts by the side of the road and laugh at how well I could barter in the native language. Then we would sail off again at top speed heading toward the forest for healing rituals, dancing, animal sacrifices, drumming and singing for days on end before we would sleep tête-à-tête on goat skins, waking to share our dreams and then drive back to each of our villages.

Each of us had our specialties arrived at by a combination of self-proclaimed skills and those skills acknowledged by the group. I was best at knowing which animal was right for the ritual, walking in the dark, noticing the location and activities of the moon and driving.

One day as we were careening down a particularly straight strip of road dodging the usual pedestrians carrying wood or kids, walking bicycles piled high with banana stalks, something happened that changed my view of life forever; a chicken ran in front of the car.

It was normal to see chickens on the road as well as goats, emaciated cows and wild dogs but this chicken had timed its ascent perfectly with our trajectory and was about to take a hit. I swerved, hit the brake, threw my arm in front of whoever was sitting shotgun and missed the chicken. Somewhat rattled but also raised in Idaho where wildlife is abundant on highways, I proceeded to drive on… relieved I had spared a life. 

Suddenly I felt a heavy rap on the back of my head… one of the quietest and typically gentle healers; Swibo had hit me with his unlit pipe. Naturally I was confused and asked for an explanation.  Here is how it translates “If you ever come across a point in your journey where you intersect with the destiny of another and you hesitate, even to take it’s life, you are altering that other being's fate and doing them a great disservice. Have the courage to trust your role and see it through, even if it is one that scares you.”

Now, in Africa almost everything can be an apocryphal story or a lesson. Each activity throughout the day is salted with familial tales and tribal lore. Most of the stories that had been imparted to me in Africa up to this point, however, were lessons I had already learned from my mother or father throughout my childhood. Even the characters and metaphors were usually pretty similar with some obvious cultural exceptions. This story-lesson, however, felt like a very new idea.

Americans are terrified of death and have actually been globally identified as a fear based culture, we also like to perform at an optimal level meaning we have a deep desire to succeed or win and we always want to be liked and loved by others, popularity means a lot to Americans.

So what if my destiny was to fail so someone else could win? Or what if it was to do something that made someone else so angry that it inspired him or her to do what ultimately became his or her best achievement? This whole concept went against my hardwired American values and I couldn’t get my head around the idea that the best way to help someone isn’t always to be the best.

In time I came to learn from my experience in Africa that death and sacrifice are a vital part of life and without death, life itself would not perpetuate. Of course I already knew this in theory but probably because I saw the veil-thin eyes of many people on the verge of death, or because I watched the seasons pass and the destructive rain and turmoil turn into flourishing green within a span of a few weeks, or perhaps because some theories point to Africa as the center of the origin of life on earth and yet is filled with death, disease, poverty and corruption or maybe it was because of that chicken who lived; I finally really got the idea of a “master plan” in which we are all merely players.

I could try to summarize this concept by writing something like ‘trust in a Universal balance that holds us in formation with all other things’ but really the best way to explain it would be in terms my mom might have used.

Picture yourself on a sunny desert day, not a cloud in the sky… you see a hawk circling overhead around and around the killdeer’s nest as the mama killdeer does her most dramatic performance yet just a few feet away. You see the hawk swoop and nature cries out like the sound of a bell. Then looking up at your mother, browned by the sun as she hangs another crisp white sheet on the line and sighs “you gotta' know when to hold em’ and know when to fold em’.”